Times With the Muffin
by The Incredible Muffin
Summary: A series of one-shots, with the characters of certain stories going out of their way to tell their host how stupid he is. That host? Well, he happens to be me...
1. Ben 10 and Supergirl

**I OWN NOTHING, SAVE FOR MY OC'S. THEY LIKE ME, SO THAT'S WHY THEY HAVEN'T KILLED ME FOR ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS I'VE PUT THEM THROUGH.**

**On this day, one year ago, I put up the first chapter of my first story, 'Ben 10: Unlimited'. For my one-year anniversary, I thought I'd do a quick, funny little thing today. Introducing a series of little one-shots, involving characters of stories I've completed, called:**

Times with the Muffin

Interview with Ben 10 and Supergirl

The crowd cheered wildly from their seats inside of a large studio. In the center of the set, a slightly upraised platform sat. On one side of the platform was a couch, while on the other side, there was a large chair. Sitting in the chair was a very strange man. From the neck down, he seemed fairly normal; his body was human-shaped, wearing a black suit, with a silver, button-up shirt and a green tie.

It was his head that was strange; it was a very large muffin, with big, googly eyes and a wide, smiling mouth.

His name was The Incredible Muffin, and he waved excitedly to the crowd.

"Hello, everyone!" he said loudly, in a voice that seemed a little too high-pitched for his size, "I'm so glad that you're here, because today, we're bringing in two very special guests!"

The crowd, having already heard who was coming onto the show today, began cheering even more. The Incredible Muffin let the noise build for a few seconds, then held up a hand for silence. Once he got it, he pointed with the same hand to somewhere off-stage.

"Okay, let's give a big welcome to today's guests… Ben 10 and Supergirl!"

The crowd roared as two people entered the room. One was a teenager with brown hair, jeans, a black t-shirt and a green jacket with the number 10 on the left side. The other was a young woman with long, blond hair, wearing a blue skirt, a white shirt with an S-shaped symbol on the front, and a short red cape. The two waved to the screaming crowd as they walked first to Muffin. Ben shook his hand, while Supergirl gave him a brief hug, and then they sat next to each other on the couch.

Once the crowd quieted, Muffin smiled widely. "All right, first of all, I'd like to thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules to come here, it means a lot."

Ben grinned. "Hey, it was no problem."

Supergirl nodded. "Yeah, we thought it would be fun."

"Well, if that's the case, I hope that you don't mind if I ask a few questions about your recent collaboration, 'Ben 10: Unlimited'." Muffin tilted his head when he saw Ben and Supergirl look a little uncomfortable. "Is something wrong?"

Ben shifted in his seat. "Well, Muffin… the truth is that neither of us liked working on that show."

"At least, in the beginning," Supergirl cut in.

"Right, right," Ben said, "In the beginning, I don't think any of us wanted to do it, but after the first ten or so episodes, we started having fun with it."

"Why didn't you like the beginning?" Muffin asked.

"Well, I think the story got a certain notoriety," Ben explained, "After the first couple of chapters, we got a lot of flak from fans, claiming that we 'ripped off the story of sandman7734', who in turn, based his story off of Agent G's story."

Muffin frowned and tilted his head to the side. "But don't the disclaimers give the credit where it's due?"

"They do," Supergirl said, "But you know how rabid some fans can be."

Muffin nodded sagely. "Very true, very true. So, what were some other things that people didn't like?"

"Well, there was what happened to my family, Kevin and Julie," Ben said, "It wasn't that the fans thought that their deaths were bad, far from it, but they didn't like how that version of me got so hung up on their deaths. They said that I was very mopey and angsty."

Muffin stared at him blankly. "Your character had lost all the people close to him at the hands of a psychotic despot. People _never _recover from that, especially in a short amount of time."

"I know!" Ben said, throwing up his hands, "But so many of the fans were all 'Ben should get on with his life by chapter 2'."

"And then there was the relationship thing," Supergirl said, rolling her eyes.

"What relationship thing?" Muffin asked, while Ben buried his face in his hands.

"Well, everyone complained about how Ben and I getting together in the story was so expected," Supergirl said, exasperated, "And then there was all the fan fiction about the two of us… ugh…"

Muffin, Ben and Supergirl all shivered.

"Aside from… _that_…" Muffin shuddered again, "Who else was Ben supposed to have a relationship with? I mean, most of the women in the Justice League are, what, ten years older than him, aren't they?"

"What about Batgirl?" Supergirl asked in complete seriousness, "She and Ben seemed to hit it off in the story, but then she was almost totally thrown away, except for the Christmas special and the wedding."

Muffin scratched the back of his head, and several crumbs fell to the floor. "Yeah, I suppose that that could have worked…"

"You know who else could have worked as a romantic interest?" Ben piped up, "Shifter. I mean, she and I had plenty of chemistry, and other than the episode 'Ultimatum', she got no attention in 'Justice League Unlimited'!"

"Well, yeah," Muffin said, growing more uncomfortable, "But didn't she die in JLU?"

"But she didn't in our story," Supergirl countered, "We're just saying, there were a lot of options out there."

"But what about the ongoing sequel, 'Unlimited Justice'?" Muffin asked, "The character of Ken wouldn't be who he was if he wasn't half-Kryptonian."

"And then we wouldn't have gotten a million complaints about him not having an Omnitrix or Ultimatrix," Ben said, "Trust me, we'd have fewer headaches if Ken was more like me."

"All right, all right," Muffin said, giving a slight glare to shut them up, "Just one more question about the relationship stuff, and then we'll move on. Is it true that you two actually tried dating before working on 'Ben 10: Unlimited', and did that impact your working together?"

Ben and Supergirl glanced at each other awkwardly before the latter answered.

"Well, we met during one of those 'dangers to the multiverse' situations, where people from all over the multiverse band together to save it, and Ben asked me out when the day was saved."

Ben cut in. "It didn't work out."

"Really?" Muffin asked, "Why not?"

"Well, we live in two separate universes," Supergirl explained, "And that kind of long-distance relationship just doesn't work."

"Speaking of other universes," Ben said, looking around, "How did we get here, exactly?"

"Trade secret," Muffin said quickly, then moved to his next topic, "You've told us what you didn't like about the story, what was your favorite part?"

"For me," Supergirl said, "it was that scene where Ben is saying all that stuff to his family and friends at the cemetery. It just tugged at the heartstrings; I swear, I was tearing up off screen."

"Yeah, that was pretty heavy on the emotion," Muffin agreed, then turned to the other guest, "What about you, Ben? Any chapters that you liked more than others?"

Ben tapped his chin in thought. "Well, I really liked 'Ultimatum'. I thought that the Ultimen getting killed off like they did in the original source material was lame, and I'm glad that we changed it. I was also a fan of the beat-down I gave Darkseid in 'Destroyer'. I know that some people see Alien X as a giant cop-out, but come on; how often does Alien X lay the smack down?"

"As far as I know, never," Muffin said.

"Exactly," Ben said, looking smug.

"So, you two didn't hate working on the story as much as you thought?" Muffin asked, a little hopeful.

Ben and Supergirl looked at each other and shrugged.

"I think we wouldn't have minded so much if the writer of the story had actually known _how_ to write a story," Ben said.

"Yeah, he didn't really know what he was doing until about halfway through the whole thing," Supergirl added, "I mean, better late than never, but…"

Muffin looked down at his watch. "Oh, darn, that's all the time we have for today. Let's give a big hand for Ben 10 and Supergirl!"

The crowd stood up in their seats and cheered wildly. The Incredible Muffin stood and shook Ben's hand again, and then gave Supergirl a hug. She surprised everyone by kissing the side of Muffin's face, then wiped a few crumbs from her mouth.

Muffin grinned, then pressed a button on the side of his chair. In a flash of light, Ben and Supergirl were sent back to their own universes. The Incredible Muffin turned to the audience.

"Thank you all for coming, and stay tuned for next time, because we're bringing in Booker DeWitt and Elizabeth from 'Bioshock Infinite'!"

**So there you go, folks, just a little something I had rattling around in my head for a while. I know that it's ridiculously short for anything I've written, but again, it was just a little one-shot. Barely more than a drabble, really. Anyway, like the end said, next time will bring in Booker and Elizabeth from my story 'Bioshock Infinite: Hell in Heaven'.**

**Play me off, Muffin!**


	2. Booker and Elizabeth

**I OWN NOTHING, SAVE FOR MY OC'S. AFTER TWO YEARS, IT'S NICE TO SEE THAT THEY'RE SO LOYAL TO ME. BRAINWASHING IS A WONDERFUL THING.**

**Wow. I cannot believe that it's been two years already. A lot has happened since my last anniversary. New stories, sequels, and so much love from all my readers. This little number is a way to look back on another of the good times.**

Times With the Muffin

Interview with Booker and Elizabeth

The Incredible Muffin walked onto the stage, waving at the cheering crowd. A janitor, a long-suffering employee of Muffin named Joe, followed him around, sweeping up the crumbs that inevitably fell from the host's head.

"All right, Joe, that's enough," Muffin said, shooing the janitor away, then sat in his chair on one side of the stage and turned to the crowd. "Hello, everyone, and welcome back! I'm The Incredible Muffin, and tonight, we've got two very special guests. He's a smartass from the modern age, and she's a naïve bookworm with the powers of a god, please welcome Booker DeWitt and Elizabeth!"

The crowd roared as a young man wearing outdated clothing walked onstage, followed by a young woman wearing a blue skirt and jacket. Both looked rather battered, and the man carried several guns on him. Still, they greeted Muffin with friendly smiles and sat down in the chairs across from him. Of course, Booker had to move his guns to the side before he could sit comfortably.

"Thank you both for coming," Muffin said. "Pardon me for asking, but you two look rather…"

"Battered? Bruised?" Booker offered. "Totally FUBAR?"

"I'd go with 'battered', myself," Muffin said nonchalantly. "Why is that?"

"We just came back from Columbia," Elizabeth said, "It's been a rough day."

Muffin frowned. "Wait, what? I thought you two returned from there over a year ago."

Elizabeth and Booker glanced at each other, then shrugged. "I try not to think about how those Tears work," Booker admitted. "It keeps the headaches away."

Muffin blinked, then nodded. "Probably a good idea. I have trouble following Back to the Future's logic sometimes."

Booker raised an eyebrow. "Really? Of all the time-travel movies, you get confused by that one? It's one of the easiest to follow!"

"Hey, I can banish you to the dimension of Forgotten Fics," Muffin threatened, and Booker meekly shut up. "Good. Now then, on to the questions."

"Yes, I'd like to know why we're here," Elizabeth said.

"Well, first of all, how was working on Hell in Heaven different than the canon material?" Muffin asked.

Booker, regaining his confidence, shrugged. "Well, really, the only things that were different were our origins. Both of us being born in the same time period added a new spin on things. That, and not being related."

Elizabeth laughed. "Yeah, not a lot of people liked that in the game. For the most part, it seemed that people were happy with the two of us being friends, if not a couple. Having us be related made a lot of fan-fiction writers upset."

"It didn't stop many of them, though," Booker pointed out.

"Good point," Muffin agreed. "Did anyone seem annoyed that the focus was told entirely from Booker's perspective?"

"Not really," Booker said, "If anything, people liked hearing what was going on in my mind. Using smartass comments and pop-culture references kept things from being constant drama and action. People need a laugh every once and a while during those stories, or else it gets angsty."

"Nobody wanted to hear things from _my _point of view," Elizabeth muttered. "Why not?"

"Maybe in the sequel," Muffin tried assuring her. He immediately realized he'd made a mistake.

"Sequel!?" Booker and Elizabeth glared at Muffin. "When!? Where!?"

"Okay, shut up and let me explain!" Muffin said sharply. "I know that I promised a sequel to your story, and I fully intend to keep that promise. However, I've had a lot on my plate for a while, and I just haven't had time to focus on that."

"You've written one story before even finishing ours," Elizabeth pointed out crossly, "and started six more since you _did _finish ours. Not to mention that you've completed two of those without even mentioning our sequel, _and _you have at least four more stories planned!"

"I don't think the OCT and this one really count," Muffin muttered to himself.

"Cut the crap, dude!" Booker got out of his seat and jabbed a finger at Muffin's nonexistent nose. "You've been getting tons of messages about writing a sequel for us for over a year! You've been updating three different stories pretty regularly for a couple of months now, and Outcast Effect doesn't have many chapters left. Get off your ass and start writing Watery Hell!"

"I want to, I really do!" Muffin protested, frantically waving his hands and getting crumbs everywhere—backstage, Joe could be heard groaning—and trying not to say anything that would make Booker set him on fire. "It's just that, after Burial at Sea, I kinda lost interest in the whole franchise."

The audience let out a collective gasp.

"Let me explain," Muffin said, before anyone could kill him, "I thought it was good from a critical standpoint, but after getting attached to the characters, seeing what happened… left a bad taste in my mouth."

"That was your excuse for changing the ending in Hell in Heaven," Elizabeth countered, "You have to have a better reason than that."

"Well, I'm also not sure if I want the sequel to take place in Rapture," Muffin admitted, "and even if I do, I'm not completely sure what the plot would be. I don't even know why you two would go there, beyond your deal with the Luteces. I just don't know."

"Elizabeth, get the butter, I'm gonna toast this muffin," Booker growled, and activated his Devil's Kiss.

"Okay, okay!" Muffin said desperately. "Look, I'll make you a deal: Once Outcast Effect and the next part of Unlimited Justice are done, I'll work on your sequel, I promise."

Booker and Elizabeth glanced at each other, and then the latter glared daggers at Muffin. "If you don't, I will go back in time and prevent the ingredients that make up your head from ever getting mixed."

Muffin nodded, spraying more crumbs and earning more groans from Joe. "I'll work on it, but I can't promise that I won't go on breaks or work on other stories at the same time. Cycles Upon Cycles is quickly becoming my biggest hit, and my imagination is like a kid on a sugar high. I could find something else to write alongside your story."

The two time-travelers nodded; Muffin had a history of going on breaks for a while for one story or another, although it usually wasn't for extended periods of time.

"Just make sure that some chapters are told from Elizabeth's point of view," Booker said, earning a smile from Elizabeth, and they both sat back down.

Muffin sagged in his chair, relieved that he wouldn't be set on fire. "All right, um, next question?"

"Fine," Booker and Elizabeth muttered.

"So, what was your favorite part of Hell in Heaven?"

"The tongue-in-cheek humor," Booker said immediately. "It was fun ripping off things from movies, games, and other stuff. Seeing Elizabeth never get it was an awkward kind of funny."

"Personally, I liked how Booker reacted to everything in Columbia," Elizabeth said. "He was always freaking out."

Muffin nodded. "Anything you disliked?"

Booker's face darkened. "Hearing those future-flashback things when I was in the asylum. Listening to Elizabeth getting tortured was _not _fun."

"Yeah, I think everyone in the world will agree with you," Muffin said. "And you, Elizabeth?"

"Constantly needing to be saved," Elizabeth complained. "In the sequel, I'd better do more than just pick up stuff and open doors."

"You will, that's a certainty," Muffin promised, then looked at his watch. "Well, look at that, we're out of time! Thank you both for coming, I'll open a portal to your dimension right away."

Muffin snapped his fingers, and a hole appeared in the air. Booker and Elizabeth politely shook his hand and exited Muffin's universe.

"Well, there we go," Muffin said, and turned to the audience. "Thank you for sticking with us for yet another year! I hope you're here for the next anniversary, where we'll bring in a few less familiar faces: the Outcast Blades!" Muffin turned his head to someone off-stage. "Joe, clean up this mess, there are crumbs everywhere."

Backstage, Joe began to cry.

**Well, there you have it. Another year come and gone. It's been fun, and yes, I will be working on that sequel once I've finished Outcast Effect and Unlimited Justice, Part 2. It might take a while, but it **_**will **_**happen.**

**We'll be back, right after these Muffins.**


	3. The Outcast Blades

**I OWN NOTHING, EXCEPT FOR MY OC'S. EVERY TIME ONE BETRAYS ME, I SIMPLY CLONE A NEW ONE. IT'S EASIER THAT WAY.**

**Three years. It's amazing that I've been doing this for three years. Just… dang. Thank you, all of you who have stood by me for this long.**

Times With the Muffin

Interview with the Outcast Blades

The crowd roared as The Incredible Muffin came out on stage. Security had to hold back some of the more 'enthusiastic' fangirls, though they were only encouraged when the Muffin gave them a thumbs-up.

"Hello, everyone!" Muffin called out over the noise. "Welcome back! I'm The Incredible Muffin, and we've got a great show in store for you today! They've been through the worst the Galactic Empire could throw at them and came out on top, please put your hands together for the Outcast Blades!"

Five armored figures walked onto the stage, all wearing distinctive coloring; it didn't escape anyone's notice that they all had a pistol and a knife on them, and their armor appeared to have weapons built into them. Muffin made a mental note to up his security next time, but smiled widely as he shook their hands.

"Hi, guys, and welcome to the show," Muffin said as the Blades sat down.

"It's good to be here," Ryan Nimbus replied. "How are you doing, Muffin?"

"Not bad, all things considered." Muffin shrugged. "Sorry to pull you out of Outcast Effect for this, but you know how it is."

Tanith Tsor leaned forward in her chair. "Speaking of Outcast Effect…"

Muffin's head hit his desk, though his fluffy top only made him bounce back up. "Yes. I. Know. Believe me, I'm working on it, but some of my other stories have had my attention lately."

Wek Vaas scowled at him. "Gee, I feel so loved."

"It's not that I haven't had fun writing your story!" Muffin said quickly. "It's just that my mind wanders, and I can't usually stay focused on any one story for long. If I _do _manage to stay focused, then I can crank out a chapter in a couple of days, a week at the most."

"So, why can't you focus on _our _story?" Bitters demanded.

Muffin sighed, unintentionally spraying crumbs on the Blades. "I don't know. All I can promise is that Outcast Effect _will _be finished. What if I say that I'll try to finish it up by the end of the summer?"

Sera crossed her arms. "That is acceptable. However, we will be watching you."

"Thanks," Muffin said dryly. "Now, can we get on with the interview?"

"Sure, what do you want to know?" Ryan asked.

Muffin looked at his notes. "First of all, what do you think of all the PMs that compare you to Star Wars: Rebels?"

As one, the Blades shrugged. "Honestly, I'm not too bothered," Ryan said. "We might not be canon, but we came before Rebels did. We even managed to parallel a few things by complete accident. Although, since we came first, you could say that Rebels paralleled _us_."

"Like Ahsoka fighting Darth Vader?" Muffin asked.

Tanith nodded. "Exactly. Also, when we stole the _Ren's Vengeance_. It was similar to what the Rebels did when they stole that carrier. The end, not the way they went about it."

"Huh, I forgot about that." Muffin tapped his chin. "It really is a shame that Star Wars hasn't hired me."

"Don't get your hopes up."

Muffin pouted. "Let me dream!"

"Next question, please?" Wek asked.

"Right, right." Muffin regained his composure. "So, what was your favorite moment in the first story? I'd ask about Outcast Effect, but it's not finished yet." Muffin felt the red-hot gaze from the sectioned-off part of the audience that demanded his faster updates. "Oh, shut up."

"Well, I'd have to say that the final battle between our group and Moff Laar's forces was my favorite," Ryan said. "It brought a nice bit of closure to our story within the larger conflict."

"I agree," Muffin said. "After that battle, I was tempted to just end the story right then and there, but I wanted to have you guys part of the canon stuff as well."

"My favorite part was actually the brainwashing bit," Tanith admitted, which earned her several strange looks. "What? It proved that we weren't invincible, and that we could suffer loss."

"I thought that was proved during Naboo, when Ryan lost his eye and you guys got the snot kicked out of you," Ryan pointed out. "Or when the _Blaze of Glory _was lost?"

"Normally, I'd say yes," Tanith argued, "but in those battles, none of the people on one of the two teams died. Me being brainwashed and killing Maris proved that the Empire wasn't completely useless."

"Good answer, actually." Muffin smiled. "Now, I have one more question for you today, and this one is kind of personal."

Ryan looked at the other Blades, then shrugged. "Sure, go ahead."

"Why do you think so many people wanted to push a polyamorous relationship between you, Tanith, and Admiral M'zan?" All five of the Blades stared at him. "Uh… what?"

Bitters rubbed his eyes tiredly. "Okay, first of all, it wasn't a lot of people. I think only three or four. The vast majority were very happy with the relationship between Ryan and Tanith."

"So are we!" the couple said together.

"Second of all, of _course _people were going to suggest a three-way," Bitters continued. "You had M'zan flirting with Ryan for the first few chapters she was in; hell, she flirted with _Tanith _right before the two of them got together!"

"Well, it was more of an inside joke with myself," Muffin admitted. "When I was first writing the story, I toyed with the idea of Ryan being with M'zan, not Tanith. However, the only thing I could think of for them was 'Ryan goes out with the team, shoots people, then comes back to the ship to have sex with M'zan'. That basically turned M'zan into a submissive housewife, which I wasn't happy with. I like M'zan as a strong, female character, and I think the vast majority of my readers feel the same."

"Yeah, thanks for giving all of us some depth," Ryan said.

"Actually, you guys were my first real attempt at original characters, and I think I did pretty well for my first try. If you didn't get character development in the first story, I made sure to give you something in Outcast Effect."

"Speaking of that, I have one question of my own," Wek said. "Why aren't Soleis, Xin, and Azrael here with us?"

"They weren't in Outcast Blades," Muffin said calmly. "Until their story in Outcast Effect is done, they aren't allowed in here. This special is for completed stories only." He shrugged. "It's like getting past the pledge period."

"So this is a fraternity?" Ryan grimaced. "Was my torture the equivalent of my hazing?"

"_OKAY_, I think we're done here!" Muffin stood up. "Thanks again for coming in today, guys. Good luck in the Mass Effect universe, I look forward to finishing up your story!"

Muffin shook hands with the Blades; a moment later, they vanished, and Muffin turned to the audience. "That's it for today, everyone! Come back next time, when I'll interview a few members of the next generation in Unlimited Justice!"

**And that's it for this year, guys! Keep an eye out for completed stories during the time between this year and next, and maybe even a couple of new ones!**

**Paid for by Muffins like you.**


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